The Two Facets of Therapy

By Alexa Ortega

Everything started with a room away from the gaze of others. Like a fragment in a full theater. With two Caoba doors that separate the office from the warm hallway and the knowledge of the students in Bronx High School Of Business. Unaware at the time of the resources that were there for them, emotionally and mentally. On the second floor behind the huge doors, a person was hoping to let himself know through them. 

The charismatic and calm Jean Checo was sent by an organization that offered services in the building. A social worker trying to implement his work in the lives of the people attending Bronx High School Of Business. 

“ The first time I came to this High School the students didn’t know me. My office was all out of their way. I started bringing food for them and when the bell rang,  I got out of my office and started to be in the hallway so they could recognize me,”  Checo revealed.

Building trust in someone doesn't happen overnight. A framed certificate on the wall might demonstrate competence and proficiency in one's field of work, but it won't necessarily resonate with teenagers. Especially those still navigating their emotions, facing challenges at home, or struggling in their relationships. Individuals grappling with inner doubts and insecurities, often striving to portray themselves as strong, witty, and intelligent, seeking validation from others.

Checo knew that being there at the time the bell rang, and having the gray storage box full of chips, cookies, and candy was his way of making connections with students. Despite his office being tucked away, he made it clear that he was available to them, instilling patience and emphasizing the importance of a safe environment. In classrooms, the name JP, Checo's chosen moniker, gained recognition as students shared it. Even when most of the students didn't come to him for a session they began to form a bond with Checo.

Afterward, he was personally hired by the school. Checo's new office found its place on the second floor, just five steps from the staircase. The room boasted comfort, anchored by a vast window adorning the center of the wall. A mango wood table occupied the right side accommodating up to eight individuals comfortably. On the left, two shelves stood; the first, a vintage gray wood nearly brushing the ceiling, while nestled between them was a stainless steel locker. Adjacent to it, was a four-level white bookcase. The top shelf displayed photographs of him, friends, and colleagues, followed by shelves packed with books and a white box brimming with toys. The last compartment had clothes.

Students Skipping Class

During the sixth period of school, two students sat facing each other in front of the spacious mango wood table. One lounged on a large cushion six steps away from the desk, tapping away at a little black portable Sony, filling the air with music. Meanwhile, the other occupied a chair, delving into his experiences as a player, recounting how he noticed the girl he was interested in was involved with another guy from their grade. Their discussion ventured into the realms of relationships, love, and the potential for change with the "right girl". In the background, the friendly voice of JP chimed in occasionally with subtle remarks.

 “You guys don’t have class?” That is Checo's favorite phrase.

Passing inside the blue door just like the day, enter a third boy with long hair. He enjoys the conversation not caring at all for the bell signaling the start of the sixth period. 

Therapy is his style, letting the students talk about their day, emotions, relationships, and suicidal thoughts. His office door remains shut only during sessions with students. Few doors in BHSB are knocked on as frequently as his: the main office and the bathroom. When students opt for a meeting, they're given the freedom to stay silent, engage with the toys Checo provides, or simply listen to their preferred music. Also, they're told that he can interfere if one of these things is happening. Three sentences

 “ Si te vas hacer  daño a ti mismo. 

   Si le vas hacer  daño a otra persona.

   Si hay un menor involucrado.”

The Girl With Long Hair

Outside the building on the sidewalk the orange, brown leaves were placed perfectly to the path of the stairs. On the second floor behind the blue door, JP was in session. The girl's ears perked up at the mention of JP's name, intrigued by what a session with him might entail. The professor fixed for a second time his glasses and began reading “ Metamorphosis. ” Images coming to her mind, voices, names, faces, hate. The bell rang, and Long Hair picked up her paper while saying adios to Mr. Calvo. The walk from those long hallways was robotic. Should she go to therapy, what would she say?

*

 Sometimes some students are sent to him because of their behavior in school or because their parents noticed something off and want them to have a session with him. However, some of these teenagers want nothing to do with therapy and simply dismiss him.

“ Y hay algunos que me dicen que no. Pues, aquí está la puerta, si en algún momento tú quieres hablar.” 

Therapy is an experience that cannot be imposed; it must arise organically within the individual. They need to feel a profound sense of comfort or confront the discomfort head-on. Stepping through that blue door means exposing their emotions to someone they encounter daily, allowing others to witness their vulnerability. It takes immense courage to sit there, grappling with tears threatening to spill, as they gaze up at the white ceiling, striving for control. Deciding to open up and bare their soul to another person requires unparalleled bravery.

A "couples session" is offered for students experiencing relationship issues, with one prevalent concern being machismo, often the girls seek sessions with their partners. Toxic relationships also arise, characterized by continuous problems and jealousy between partners.  Nurture would be the most likely answer to this,  the environment in were the teenager is developing is influencing his behaviors and beliefs. 

Long Hair Questions

There is no more color in the trees. The girl with blue hair and black glasses responds to questions about her sessions with JP, but it's not sufficient. Glasses isn't telling her how to open up. When she noticed that it was time. she isn't telling enough. In the third period, a woman came to talk about abusive relationships, respect for others, and harassment. In the middle of her talk, the scenario came too close to home. The girl with long hair was fighting the demons and contending the tears. 

“ Be strong, this is nothing,” she whispers to herself.

***

Some teenagers struggle to express their emotions without feeling ashamed. As a social worker, Checo works with them to normalize these feelings. Despite affirmations that it's acceptable to cry and be in touch with their emotions, not all are ready or willing to embark on this journey. Changing behaviors and emotions is a gradual process that cannot be accomplished in a mere two hours. It takes a lot of persistence and patience to understand that something must be changed for the better. And to put it in practice, patience is the key. 

“ Si tu te cortas, una cortada de que te tienen que dar puntos, tu no esperas que al otro día tu te sanes. El cuerpo necesita un tiempo. Entonces eso mismo funciona con la salud mental, hay cosas que tu vines haciendo por 17 años de tu vida. A veces no te das cuenta, pueden ser por dinámicas familiares. O porque eso fue lo que viste por la televiso, lo que sea. Entonces yo no puedo pretender que yo te diga algo y que al día de mañana tu ya cambies,”  Checo said.

One of the toughest aspects of Checo's career is grappling with his own emotions while providing support to others. There are moments when he finds himself needing the same space and listening ear he offers to others.

“Those days are challenging for me,” Checo admitted.

On those days when Checo is struggling, some students pick up on it. Despite the session proceeding smoothly, those who have developed trust in him, familiar with his behaviors, playful responses, and body language, start to notice. They might inquire, "Are you okay? Did you sleep well? You seem tired."

Working nine hours Monday to Friday, encountering such diverse scenarios from each person, inevitably takes its toll on the human behind the smile and serene attitude. Recognizing the importance of maintaining mental well-being, Checo prioritizes establishing a routine that fosters mental clarity and resilience. He consciously avoids consuming news, takes walks when feeling overwhelmed, and dedicates quality time to his family and nephew. Moreover, Checo seeks support from a therapist who listens and assists him in improving his consultations, understanding that his job hinges on his own well-being.

Inhale deeply, holding for two seconds.

 “ Here when I am here I’m a 100% para mis estudiantes trato de dar lo major de mi, ayudarlos con lo que pueda. Pero cuando el día se acaba,  no es que siempre se puede.  Hay veces que te vas con estudiantes en la cabeza, pensando como mas los puedes ayudar para al otro día. Pero si después de 3:40 hay es que se acaba mi día, es para mi," Checo Stated.

Sadnnes with Long Hair

They say writing helps calm the mind. Putting pain and feelings into words releases chaos and torment. But at 1:20 a.m. the pink diary was not helping the robot girl. The black ink pen lost its power due to extreme use. No matter how many tears welled up in her eyes, the sad girl was still damaged. "Can that help?"

*

“ I am not a superhero”

Another grueling thing of his work is when Checo feels an attachment to the student. When trust, friendliness, and love are present, it's natural to form connections with these teenagers. Witnessing their growth and evolution into better versions of themselves makes it difficult not to care deeply for them. Yet, the question arises: where does the boundary between professional responsibility and personal involvement begin?

“ Is my job to set the boundaries porque Ellos estan siendo niños, estudiantes. I have to reminding me,  que ellos son estudiantes,” Expressed Checo.

Many people have this thing of being ‘ superheroes.’ It happens in relationships, families, and friendships. I’m the one who is gonna save you, the one who would make you feel better, secure, that warm feeling that you weren't provided, love. There's a belief that one's patience and efforts can induce change. But the truth is, people don't change unless they're willing to do so themselves.

 How does the social worker remember that he is just human? That for more welling, hope, patience, and love there is nothing that he can do if is not their time. When the sign of stop becomes bigger and flaming to the gaze of the eyes. The phrase that brings Jean Checo to reality. 

“ I am not a superhero.” 

Adventures With Long Hair

Another remote Monday on the first floor of  240 E 172 St, Bronx, NY. Sitting in his black reclining chair Mr. Calvo was reading chapter 3, when Faska scares the tenants because the music makes him come out of his room forgetting his disgusting appearance. Short hair and Big lips are talking without care much of how many times Mr. Calvo has told them to shut up. Short hair turns around and asks if long hair would like to come to the office of JP because the class was very boring. She responds with yes, and the three of them leave the classroom with the excuse of going to JP. Short hair was the first to pass the frame blue, the last was long hair.

“ Y ustedes ," says checo. 

“ Hi Jean, that English class is so boring, Mr. Calvo me tiene harta, I can’t anymore,”  short hair says.

“ Jp déjanos un chin aqui, que eso ta aburridisimo," insist Big lips.

“  No pueden quedarse un periodo entero pero si quieren me pueden ayudar a pegar estos folletos y cuando terminen vuelven a su clase." Checo responded

“ Por eso e que yo lo amo," voice big lips.

***

Checo was once told by a professor that people tend to adopt superhero personas, a notion that has stuck with him throughout the years. However, he understands that he is just human. Despite conducting safety assessments, some students may attempt to end their lives or cross that line. Perhaps, Checo muses, this is their path, their process. Sometimes, individuals need to hit rock bottom to realize the need for change, or to awaken to the sound of their own heart beating in a hospital room.

Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip,  Bip. With the smell of disinfectant. Of medical, bleach….

Long Hair Decision

It’s decided, it has to be done. Maybe if someone can hear her, the ugly pain can go away. The culpability of January 1, 2023, can disappear. She could just be a girl again, right? 

****

Checo studied psychology in the Dominican Republic and continued his studies in 2020 during the pandemic, better known as coronavirus. "I had to take online classes because there was no other option. Otherwise, I would never have enrolled. Online learning works for some people, but not for others, and I'm one of those for whom it doesn't work. I learn best when I attend in person and can participate in class discussions."

The pandemic was a difficult time for many, marked by a significant number of deaths. The news was dominated by reports of hospitalizations and fatalities. Social distancing measures prevented people from gathering, leading many families to celebrate birthdays and other events via FaceTime. Despite the challenges, the pandemic was what made Checo start going to therapy. “ Yo soy muy de tocar y no poder hacerlo, a mi hermana, mi family fue muy fuerte para mi. Entonces hay accedí a terapia aunque fuera virtual. Eso me hizo ser mejor terapeuta porque tú estás en el otro lado. "

Long Hair Meeting

After two attempts to make an appointment with JP. Finally, it was done. The girl was very clear about her thoughts but she couldn't say them out loud. Bringing the subject up was different from sitting at the Mango's table with the white box of toys in front of her.

How do you start this?

" We can start talking about your family, and what you did today or we can just stay silent. As you feel most comfortable," Responded Checo.

It took 6 minutes for Long Hair to speak her mind, to be seen broken and with wetness on her face. To feel all the emotions she persistently kept brushing under the rug.

“It wasn't your fault, he and only he's responsible for his actions,” Checo said.

Take a lasso long enough to wrap around your neck. Tighten it. Hold it until your face changes color, your vision becomes blurry, and your eyes turn bloodshot. Your hands will start to shake, gradually losing their grip on the lasso as your body fights for survival. Then, just as you take your first breath of air, a bright light appears in your blurred vision. Your body feels lighter, and your mind becomes quiet. This was the sensation Long Hair experienced after her session with JP. He didn't tell her anything she didn't already know, but being heard and letting go of her heavy armor for one hour was a profound relief.