VALERE (to Mariane)
Whatever efforts we may make,
My greatest hope, be sure, must rest on you.
MARIANE (to Valere)
I cannot answer for my father's whims;
But no one save Valere shall ever have me.
VALERE
You thrill me through with joy! Whatever comes …
DORINE
Oho! These lovers! Never done with prattling!
Now go.
VALERE (starting to go, and coming back again)
One last word …
DORINE
What a gabble and pother!
Be off! By this door, you. And you, by t'other.
(She pushes them off, by the shoulders, in opposite directions.)
ACT III
SCENE I
DAMIS, DORINE
DAMIS
May lightning strike me dead this very instant,
May I be everywhere proclaimed a scoundrel,
If any reverence or power shall stop me,
And if I don't do straightway something desperate!
DORINE
I beg you, moderate this towering passion;
Your father did but merely mention it.
Not all things that are talked of turn to facts;
The road is long, sometimes, from plans to acts.
DAMIS
No, I must end this paltry fellow's plots,
And he shall hear from me a truth or two.
DORINE
So ho! Go slow now. Just you leave the fellow—
Your father too—in your step-mother's hands.
She has some influence with this Tartuffe,
He makes a point of heeding all she says,
And I suspect that he is fond of her.
Would God 'twere true!—'Twould be the height of humour
Now, she has sent for him, in your behalf,
To sound him on this marriage, to find out
What his ideas are, and to show him plainly
What troubles he may cause, if he persists
In giving countenance to this design.
His man says, he's at prayers, I mustn't see him,
But likewise says, he'll presently be down.
So off with you, and let me wait for him.
DAMIS
I may be present at this interview.
DORINE
No, no! They must be left alone.
DAMIS
I won't
So much as speak to him.
DORINE
Go on! We know you
And your high tantrums. Just the way to spoil things!
Be off.
DAMIS
No, I must see—I'll keep my temper.
DORINE
Out on you, what a plague! He's coming. Hide!
(Damis goes and hides in the closet at the back of the stage.)
SCENE II
TARTUFFE, DORINE
TARTUFFE (speaking to his valet, off the stage, as soon as he sees
Dorine is there)
Lawrence, put up my hair-cloth shirt and scourge,
And pray that Heaven may shed its light upon you.
If any come to see me, say I'm gone
To share my alms among the prisoners.
DORINE (aside)
What affectation and what showing off!
TARTUFFE
What do you want with me?
DORINE
To tell you …
TARTUFFE (taking a handkerchief from his pocket)
Ah!
Before you speak, pray take this handkerchief.
DORINE
What?
TARTUFFE
Cover up that bosom, which I can't
Endure to look on. Things like that offend
Our souls, and fill our minds with sinful thoughts.
DORINE
Are you so tender to temptation, then,
And has the flesh such power upon your senses?
I don't know how you get in such a heat;
For my part, I am not so prone to lust,
And I could see you stripped from head to foot,
And all your hide not tempt me in the least.
TARTUFFE
Show in your speech some little modesty,
Or I must instantly take leave of you.
DORINE
No, no, I'll leave you to yourself; I've only
One thing to say: Madam will soon be down,
And begs the favour of a word with you.
TARTUFFE
Ah! Willingly.
DORINE (aside)
How gentle all at once!
My faith, I still believe I've hit upon it.
TARTUFFE
Will she come soon?
DORINE
I think I hear her now.
Yes, here she is herself; I'll leave you with her.
SCENE III
ELMIRE, TARTUFFE
TARTUFFE
May Heaven's overflowing kindness ever
Give you good health of body and of soul,
And bless your days according to the wishes
And prayers of its most humble votary!
ELMIRE
I'm very grateful for your pious wishes.
But let's sit down, so we may talk at ease.
TARTUFFE (after sitting down)
And how are you recovered from your illness?
ELMIRE (sitting down also)
Quite well; the fever soon let go its hold.
TARTUFFE
My prayers, I fear, have not sufficient merit
To have drawn down this favour from on high;
But each entreaty that I made to Heaven
Had for its object your recovery.
ELMIRE
You're too solicitous on my behalf.
TARTUFFE
We could not cherish your dear health too much;
I would have given mine, to help restore it.
ELMIRE
That's pushing Christian charity too far;
I owe you many thanks for so much kindness.
TARTUFFE
I do far less for you than you deserve.
ELMIRE
There is a matter that I wished to speak of
In private; I am glad there's no one here
To listen.
TARTUFFE
Madam, I am overjoyed.
'Tis sweet to find myself alone with you.
This is an opportunity I've asked
Of Heaven, many a time; till now, in vain.
ELMIRE
All that I wish, is just a word from you,
Quite frank and open, hiding nothing from me.
(DAMIS, without their seeing him, opens the closet door halfway.)
TARTUFFE
I too could wish, as Heaven's especial favour,
To lay my soul quite open to your eyes,
And swear to you, the trouble that I made
About those visits which your charms attract,
Does not result from any hatred toward you,
But rather from a passionate devotion,
And purest motives …
ELMIRE
That is how I take it,
I think 'tis my salvation that concerns you.
TARTUFFE (pressing her finger tips)
Madam, 'tis so; and such is my devotion …
ELMIRE
Ouch! but you squeeze too hard.
TARTUFFE
Excess of zeal.
In no way could I ever mean to hurt you,
And I'd as soon …
(He puts his hand on her knee.)
ELMIRE
What's your hand doing there?
TARTUFFE
Feeling your gown; the stuff is very soft.
ELMIRE
Let be, I beg you; I am very ticklish.
(She moves her chair away, and Tartuffe brings his nearer.)
TARTUFFE (handling the lace yoke of Elmire's dress)
Dear me how wonderful in workmanship
This lace is! They do marvels, nowadays;
Things of all kinds were never better made.
ELMIRE
Yes, very true. But let us come to business.
They say my husband means to break his word.
And marry Mariane to you. Is't so?
TARTUFFE
He did hint some such thing; but truly, madam,
That's not the happiness I'm yearning after;
I see elsewhere the sweet compelling charms
Of such a joy as fills my every wish.
ELMIRE
You mean you cannot love terrestrial things.
TARTUFFE
The heart within my bosom is not stone.
ELMIRE
I well believe your sighs all tend to Heaven,
And nothing here below can stay your thoughts.
TARTUFFE
Love for the beauty of eternal things
Cannot destroy our love for earthly beauty;
Our mortal senses well may be entranced
By perfect works that Heaven has fashioned here.
Its charms reflected shine in such as you,
And in yourself, its rarest miracles;
It has displayed such marvels in your face,
That eyes are dazed, and hearts are rapt away;
I could not look on you, the perfect creature,
Without admiring Nature's great Creator,
And feeling all my heart inflamed with love
For you, His fairest image of Himself.
At first I trembled lest this secret love
Might be the Evil Spirit's artful snare;
I even schooled my heart to flee your beauty,
Thinking it was a bar to my salvation.
But soon, enlightened, O all lovely one,
I saw how this my passion may be blameless,
How I may make it fit with modesty,
And thus completely yield my heart to it.
'Tis I must own, a great presumption in me
To dare make you the offer of my heart;
My love hopes all things from your perfect goodness,
And nothing from my own poor weak endeavour.
You are my hope, my stay, my peace of heart;
On you depends my torment or my bliss;
And by your doom of judgment, I shall be
Blest, if you will; or damned, by your decree.
ELMIRE
Your declaration's turned most gallantly;
But truly, it is just a bit surprising.
You should have better armed your heart, methinks,
And taken thought somewhat on such a matter.
A pious man like you, known everywhere …
TARTUFFE
Though pious, I am none the less a man;
And when a man beholds your heavenly charms,
The heart surrenders, and can think no more.
I know such words seem strange, coming from me;
But, madam, I'm no angel, after all;
If you condemn my frankly made avowal
You only have your charming self to blame.
Soon as I saw your more than human beauty,
You were thenceforth the sovereign of my soul;
Sweetness ineffable was in your eyes,
That took by storm my still resisting heart,
And conquered everything, fasts, prayers, and tears,
And turned my worship wholly to yourself.
My looks, my sighs, have spoke a thousand times;
Now, to express it all, my voice must speak.
If but you will look down with gracious favour
Upon the sorrows of your worthless slave,
If in your goodness you will give me comfort
And condescend unto my nothingness,
I'll ever pay you, O sweet miracle,
An unexampled worship and devotion.
Then too, with me your honour runs no risk;
With me you need not fear a public scandal.
These court gallants, that women are so fond of,
Are boastful of their acts, and vain in speech;
They always brag in public of their progress;
Soon as a favour's granted, they'll divulge it;
Their tattling tongues, if you but trust to them,
Will foul the altar where their hearts have worshipped.
But men like me are so discreet in love,
That you may trust their lasting secrecy.
The care we take to guard our own good name
May fully guarantee the one we love;
So you may find, with hearts like ours sincere,
Love without scandal, pleasure without fear.
ELMIRE
I've heard you through—your speech is clear, at least.
But don't you fear that I may take a fancy
To tell my husband of your gallant passion,
And that a prompt report of this affair
May somewhat change the friendship which he bears you?
TARTUFFE
I know that you're too good and generous,
That you will pardon my temerity,
Excuse, upon the score of human frailty,
The violence of passion that offends you,
And not forget, when you consult your mirror,
That I'm not blind, and man is made of flesh.
ELMIRE
Some women might do otherwise, perhaps,
But I am willing to employ discretion,
And not repeat the matter to my husband;
But in return, I'll ask one thing of you:
That you urge forward, frankly and sincerely,
The marriage of Valere to Mariane;
That you give up the unjust influence
By which you hope to win another's rights;
And …
SCENE IV
ELMIRE, DAMIS, TARTUFFE
DAMIS (coming out of the closet-room where he had been hiding)
No, I say! This thing must be made public.
I was just there, and overheard it all;
And Heaven's goodness must have brought me there
On purpose to confound this scoundrel's pride
And grant me means to take a signal vengeance
On his hypocrisy and arrogance,
And undeceive my father, showing up
The rascal caught at making love to you.
ELMIRE
No, no; it is enough if he reforms,
Endeavouring to deserve the favour shown him.
And since I've promised, do not you belie me.
'Tis not my way to make a public scandal;
An honest wife will scorn to heed such follies,
And never fret her husband's ears with them.
DAMIS
You've reasons of your own for acting thus;
And I have mine for doing otherwise.
To spare him now would be a mockery;
His bigot's pride has triumphed all too long
Over my righteous anger, and has caused
Far too much trouble in our family.
The rascal all too long has ruled my father,
And crossed my sister's love, and mine as well.
The traitor now must be unmasked before him:
And Providence has given me means to do it.
To Heaven I owe the opportunity,
And if I did not use it now I have it,
I should deserve to lose it once for all.
ELMIRE
Damis …
DAMIS
No, by your leave; I'll not be counselled.
I'm overjoyed. You needn't try to tell me
I must give up the pleasure of revenge.
I'll make an end of this affair at once;
And, to content me, here's my father now.
SCENE V
ORGON, ELMIRE, DAMIS, TARTUFFE
DAMIS
Father, we've news to welcome your arrival,
That's altogether novel, and surprising.
You are well paid for your caressing care,
And this fine gentleman rewards your love
Most handsomely, with zeal that seeks no less
Than your dishonour, as has now been proven.
I've just surprised him making to your wife
The shameful offer of a guilty love.
She, somewhat over gentle and discreet,
Insisted that the thing should be concealed;
But I will not condone such shamelessness,
Nor so far wrong you as to keep it secret.
ELMIRE
Yes, I believe a wife should never trouble
Her husband's peace of mind with such vain gossip;
A woman's honour does not hang on telling;
It is enough if she defend herself;
Or so I think; Damis, you'd not have spoken,
If you would but have heeded my advice.
SCENE VI
ORGON, DAMIS, TARTUFFE
ORGON
Just Heaven! Can what I hear be credited?
TARTUFFE
Yes, brother, I am wicked, I am guilty,
A miserable sinner, steeped in evil,
The greatest criminal that ever lived.
Each moment of my life is stained with soilures;
And all is but a mass of crime and filth;
Heaven, for my punishment, I see it plainly,
Would mortify me now. Whatever wrong
They find to charge me with, I'll not deny it
But guard against the pride of self-defence.
Believe their stories, arm your wrath against me,
And drive me like a villain from your house;
I cannot have so great a share of shame
But what I have deserved a greater still.
ORGON (to his son)
You miscreant, can you dare, with such a falsehood,
To try to stain the whiteness of his virtue?
DAMIS
What! The feigned meekness of this hypocrite
Makes you discredit …
ORGON
Silence, cursed plague!
TARTUFFE
Ah! Let him speak; you chide him wrongfully;
You'd do far better to believe his tales.
Why favour me so much in such a matter?
How can you know of what I'm capable?
And should you trust my outward semblance, brother,
Or judge therefrom that I'm the better man?
No, no; you let appearances deceive you;
I'm anything but what I'm thought to be,
Alas! and though all men believe me godly,
The simple truth is, I'm a worthless creature.
(To Damis)
Yes, my dear son, say on, and call me traitor,
Abandoned scoundrel, thief, and murderer;
Heap on me names yet more detestable,
And I shall not gainsay you; I've deserved them;
I'll bear this ignominy on my knees,
To expiate in shame the crimes I've done.
ORGON (to Tartuffe)
Ah, brother, 'tis too much!
(To his son)
You'll not relent,
You blackguard?
DAMIS
What! His talk can so deceive you …
ORGON
Silence, you scoundrel!
(To Tartuffe)
Brother, rise, I beg you.
(To his son)
Infamous villain!
DAMIS
Can he …
ORGON
Silence!
DAMIS
What …
ORGON
Another word, I'll break your every bone.
TARTUFFE
Brother, in God's name, don't be angry with him!
I'd rather bear myself the bitterest torture
Than have him get a scratch on my account.
ORGON (to his son)
Ungrateful monster!
TARTUFFE
Stop. Upon my knees
I beg you pardon him …
ORGON (throwing himself on his knees too, and embracing Tartuffe)
Alas! How can you?
(To his son)
Villain! Behold his goodness!
DAMIS
So …
ORGON
Be still.
DAMIS
What! I …
ORGON
Be still, I say. I know your motives
For this attack. You hate him, all of you;
Wife, children, servants, all let loose upon him,
You have recourse to every shameful trick
To drive this godly man out of my house;
The more you strive to rid yourselves of him,
The more I'll strive to make him stay with me;
I'll have him straightway married to my daughter,
Just to confound the pride of all of you.
DAMIS
What! Will you force her to accept his hand?
ORGON
Yes, and this very evening, to enrage you,
Young rascal! Ah! I'll brave you all, and show you
That I'm the master, and must be obeyed.
Now, down upon your knees this instant, rogue,
And take back what you said, and ask his pardon.
DAMIS
Who? I? Ask pardon of that cheating scoundrel … ?
ORGON
Do you resist, you beggar, and insult him?
A cudgel, here! a cudgel!
(To Tartuffe)
Don't restrain me.
(To his son)
Off with you! Leave my house this instant, sirrah,
And never dare set foot in it again.
DAMIS
Yes, I will leave your house, but …
ORGON
Leave it quickly.
You reprobate, I disinherit you,
And give you, too, my curse into the bargain.
SCENE VII
ORGON, TARTUFFE
ORGON
What! So insult a saintly man of God!
TARTUFFE
Heaven, forgive him all the pain he gives me! [4]
[Footnote 4: Some modern editions have adopted the reading, preserved
by tradition as that of the earliest stage version: Heaven, forgive
him even as I forgive him! Voltaire gives still another reading:
Heaven, forgive me even as I forgive him! Whichever was the original
version, it appears in none of the early editions, and Moliere
probably felt forced to change it on account of its too close
resemblance to the Biblical phrase.]
(To Orgon)
Could you but know with what distress I see
Them try to vilify me to my brother!
ORGON
Ah!
TARTUFFE
The mere thought of such ingratitude
Makes my soul suffer torture, bitterly …
My horror at it … Ah! my heart's so full
I cannot speak … I think I'll die of it.
ORGON (in tears, running to the door through which he drove away his
son)
Scoundrel! I wish I'd never let you go,
But slain you on the spot with my own hand.
(To Tartuffe)
Brother, compose yourself, and don't be angry.
TARTUFFE
Nay, brother, let us end these painful quarrels.
I see what troublous times I bring upon you,
And think 'tis needful that I leave this house.
ORGON
What! You can't mean it?
TARTUFFE
Yes, they hate me here,
And try, I find, to make you doubt my faith.
ORGON
What of it? Do you find I listen to them?
TARTUFFE
No doubt they won't stop there. These same reports
You now reject, may some day win a hearing.
ORGON
No, brother, never.
TARTUFFE
Ah! my friend, a woman
May easily mislead her husband's mind.
ORGON
No, no.
TARTUFFE
So let me quickly go away
And thus remove all cause for such attacks.
ORGON
No, you shall stay; my life depends upon it.
TARTUFFE
Then I must mortify myself. And yet,
If you should wish …
ORGON
No, never!
TARTUFFE
Very well, then;
No more of that. But I shall rule my conduct
To fit the case. Honour is delicate,
And friendship binds me to forestall suspicion,
Prevent all scandal, and avoid your wife.
ORGON
No, you shall haunt her, just to spite them all.
'Tis my delight to set them in a rage;
You shall be seen together at all hours
And what is more, the better to defy them,
I'll have no other heir but you; and straightway
I'll go and make a deed of gift to you,
Drawn in due form, of all my property.
A good true friend, my son-in-law to be,
Is more to me than son, and wife, and kindred.
You will accept my offer, will you not?
TARTUFFE
Heaven's will be done in everything!
ORGON
Poor man!
We'll go make haste to draw the deed aright,
And then let envy burst itself with spite!
ACT IV
SCENE I
CLEANTE, TARTUFFE
CLEANTE
Yes, it's become the talk of all the town,
And make a stir that's scarcely to your credit;
And I have met you, sir, most opportunely,
To tell you in a word my frank opinion.
Not to sift out this scandal to the bottom,
Suppose the worst for us—suppose Damis
Acted the traitor, and accused you falsely;
Should not a Christian pardon this offence,
And stifle in his heart all wish for vengeance?
Should you permit that, for your petty quarrel,
A son be driven from his father's house?
I tell you yet again, and tell you frankly,
Everyone, high or low, is scandalised;
If you'll take my advice, you'll make it up,
And not push matters to extremities.
Make sacrifice to God of your resentment;
Restore the son to favour with his father.
TARTUFFE
Alas! So far as I'm concerned, how gladly
Would I do so! I bear him no ill will;
I pardon all, lay nothing to his charge,
And wish with all my heart that I might serve him;
But Heaven's interests cannot allow it;
If he returns, then I must leave the house.
After his conduct, quite unparalleled,
All intercourse between us would bring scandal;
God knows what everyone's first thought would be!
They would attribute it to merest scheming
On my part—say that conscious of my guilt
I feigned a Christian love for my accuser,
But feared him in my heart, and hoped to win him
And underhandedly secure his silence.
CLEANTE
You try to put us off with specious phrases;
But all your arguments are too far-fetched.
Why take upon yourself the cause of Heaven?
Does Heaven need our help to punish sinners?
Leave to itself the care of its own vengeance,
And keep in mind the pardon it commands us;
Besides, think somewhat less of men's opinions,
When you are following the will of Heaven.
Shall petty fear of what the world may think
Prevent the doing of a noble deed?
No!—let us always do as Heaven commands,
And not perplex our brains with further questions.
TARTUFFE
Already I have told you I forgive him;
And that is doing, sir, as Heaven commands.
But after this day's scandal and affront
Heaven does not order me to live with him.
CLEANTE
And does it order you to lend your ear
To what mere whim suggested to his father,
And to accept gift of his estates,
On which, in justice, you can make no claim?
TARTUFFE
No one who knows me, sir, can have the thought
That I am acting from a selfish motive.
The goods of this world have no charms for me;
I am not dazzled by their treacherous glamour;
And if I bring myself to take the gift
Which he insists on giving me, I do so,
To tell the truth, only because I fear
This whole estate may fall into bad hands,
And those to whom it comes may use it ill
And not employ it, as is my design,
For Heaven's glory and my neighbours' good.
CLEANTE
Eh, sir, give up these conscientious scruples
That well may cause a rightful heir's complaints.
Don't take so much upon yourself, but let him
Possess what's his, at his own risk and peril;
Consider, it were better he misused it,
Than you should be accused of robbing him.
I am astounded that unblushingly
You could allow such offers to be made!
Tell me—has true religion any maxim
That teaches us to rob the lawful heir?
If Heaven has made it quite impossible
Damis and you should live together here,
Were it not better you should quietly
And honourably withdraw, than let the son
Be driven out for your sake, dead against
All reason? 'Twould be giving, sir, believe me,
Such an example of your probity …
TARTUFFE
Sir, it is half-past three; certain devotions
Recall me to my closet; you'll forgive me
For leaving you so soon.
CLEANTE (alone)
Ah!
SCENE II
ELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, DORINE
DORINE (to Cleante)
Sir, we beg you
To help us all you can in her behalf;
She's suffering almost more than heart can bear;
This match her father means to make to-night
Drives her each moment to despair. He's coming.
Let us unite our efforts now, we beg you,
And try by strength or skill to change his purpose.
SCENE III
ORGON, ELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, DORINE
ORGON
So ho! I'm glad to find you all together.
(To Mariane)
Here is the contract that shall make you happy,
My dear. You know already what it means.
MARIANE (on her knees before Orgon)
Father, I beg you, in the name of Heaven
That knows my grief, and by whate'er can move you,
Relax a little your paternal rights,
And free my love from this obedience!
Oh, do not make me, by your harsh command,
Complain to Heaven you ever were my father;
Do not make wretched this poor life you gave me.
If, crossing that fond hope which I had formed,
You'll not permit me to belong to one
Whom I have dared to love, at least, I beg you
Upon my knees, oh, save me from the torment
Of being possessed by one whom I abhor!
And do not drive me to some desperate act
By exercising all your rights upon me.
ORGON (a little touched)
Come, come, my heart, be firm! no human weakness!
MARIANE
I am not jealous of your love for him;
Display it freely; give him your estate,
And if that's not enough, add all of mine;
I willingly agree, and give it up,
If only you'll not give him me, your daughter;
Oh, rather let a convent's rigid rule
Wear out the wretched days that Heaven allots me.
ORGON
These girls are ninnies!—always turning nuns
When fathers thwart their silly love-affairs.
Get on your feet! The more you hate to have him,
The more 'twill help you earn your soul's salvation.
So, mortify your senses by this marriage,
And don't vex me about it any more.
DORINE
But what … ?
ORGON
You hold your tongue, before your betters.
Don't dare to say a single word, I tell you.
CLEANTE
If you will let me answer, and advise …
ORGON
Brother, I value your advice most highly;
'Tis well thought out; no better can be had;
But you'll allow me—not to follow it.
ELMIRE (to her husband)
I can't find words to cope with such a case;
Your blindness makes me quite astounded at you.
You are bewitched with him, to disbelieve
The things we tell you happened here to-day.
ORGON
I am your humble servant, and can see
Things, when they're plain as noses on folks' faces,
I know you're partial to my rascal son,
And didn't dare to disavow the trick
He tried to play on this poor man; besides,
You were too calm, to be believed; if that
Had happened, you'd have been far more disturbed.
ELMIRE
And must our honour always rush to arms
At the mere mention of illicit love?
Or can we answer no attack upon it
Except with blazing eyes and lips of scorn?
For my part, I just laugh away such nonsense;
I've no desire to make a loud to-do.
Our virtue should, I think, be gentle-natured;
Nor can I quite approve those savage prudes
Whose honour arms itself with teeth and claws
To tear men's eyes out at the slightest word.
Heaven preserve me from that kind of honour!
I like my virtue not to be a vixen,
And I believe a quiet cold rebuff
No less effective to repulse a lover.
ORGON
I know … and you can't throw me off the scent.
ELMIRE
Once more, I am astounded at your weakness;
I wonder what your unbelief would answer,
If I should let you see we've told the truth?
ORGON
See it?
ELMIRE
Yes.
ORGON
Nonsense.
ELMIRE
Come! If I should find
A way to make you see it clear as day?
ORGON
All rubbish.
ELMIRE
What a man! But answer me.
I'm not proposing now that you believe us;
But let's suppose that here, from proper hiding,
You should be made to see and hear all plainly;
What would you say then, to your man of virtue?
ORGON
Why, then, I'd say … say nothing. It can't be.
ELMIRE
Your error has endured too long already,
And quite too long you've branded me a liar.
I must at once, for my own satisfaction,
Make you a witness of the things we've told you.
ORGON
Amen! I take you at your word. We'll see
What tricks you have, and how you'll keep your promise.
ELMIRE (to Dorine)
Send him to me.
DORINE (to Elmire)
The man's a crafty codger,
Perhaps you'll find it difficult to catch him.
ELMIRE (to Dorine)
Oh no! A lover's never hard to cheat,
And self-conceit leads straight to self-deceit.
Bid him come down to me.
(To Cleante and Mariane)
And you, withdraw.
SCENE IV
ELMIRE, ORGON
ELMIRE
Bring up this table, and get under it.
ORGON
What?
ELMIRE
One essential is to hide you well.
ORGON
Why under there?
ELMIRE
Oh, dear! Do as I say;
I know what I'm about, as you shall see.
Get under, now, I tell you; and once there
Be careful no one either sees or hears you.
ORGON
I'm going a long way to humour you,
I must say; but I'll see you through your scheme.
ELMIRE
And then you'll have, I think, no more to say.
(To her husband, who is now under the table.)
But mind, I'm going to meddle with strange matters;
Prepare yourself to be in no wise shocked.
Whatever I may say must pass, because
'Tis only to convince you, as I promised.
By wheedling speeches, since I'm forced to do it,
I'll make this hypocrite put off his mask,
Flatter the longings of his shameless passion,
And give free play to all his impudence.
But, since 'tis for your sake, to prove to you
His guilt, that I shall feign to share his love,
I can leave off as soon as you're convinced,
And things shall go no farther than you choose.
So, when you think they've gone quite far enough,
It is for you to stop his mad pursuit,
To spare your wife, and not expose me farther
Than you shall need, yourself, to undeceive you.
It is your own affair, and you must end it
When … Here he comes. Keep still, don't show yourself.
SCENE V
TARTUFFE, ELMIRE; ORGON (under the table)
TARTUFFE
They told me that you wished to see me here.
ELMIRE
Yes. I have secrets for your ear alone.
But shut the door first, and look everywhere
For fear of spies.
(Tartuffe goes and closes the door, and comes back.)
We surely can't afford
Another scene like that we had just now;
Was ever anyone so caught before!
Damis did frighten me most terribly
On your account; you saw I did my best
To baffle his design, and calm his anger.
But I was so confused, I never thought
To contradict his story; still, thank Heaven,
Things turned out all the better, as it happened,
And now we're on an even safer footing.
The high esteem you're held in, laid the storm;
My husband can have no suspicion of you,
And even insists, to spite the scandal-mongers,
That we shall be together constantly;
So that is how, without the risk of blame,
I can be here locked up with you alone,
And can reveal to you my heart, perhaps
Only too ready to allow your passion.
TARTUFFE
Your words are somewhat hard to understand,
Madam; just now you used a different style.
ELMIRE
If that refusal has offended you,
How little do you know a woman's heart!
How ill you guess what it would have you know,
When it presents so feeble a defence!
Always, at first, our modesty resists
The tender feelings you inspire us with.
Whatever cause we find to justify
The love that masters us, we still must feel
Some little shame in owning it; and strive
To make as though we would not, when we would.
But from the very way we go about it
We let a lover know our heart surrenders,
The while our lips, for honour's sake, oppose
Our heart's desire, and in refusing promise.
I'm telling you my secret all too freely
And with too little heed to modesty.
But—now that I've made bold to speak—pray tell me.
Should I have tried to keep Damis from speaking,
Should I have heard the offer of your heart
So quietly, and suffered all your pleading,
And taken it just as I did—remember—
If such a declaration had not pleased me,
And, when I tried my utmost to persuade you
Not to accept the marriage that was talked of,
What should my earnestness have hinted to you
If not the interest that you've inspired,
And my chagrin, should such a match compel me
To share a heart I want all to myself?
TARTUFFE
'Tis, past a doubt, the height of happiness,
To hear such words from lips we dote upon;
Their honeyed sweetness pours through all my senses
Long draughts of suavity ineffable.
My heart employs its utmost zeal to please you,
And counts your love its one beatitude;
And yet that heart must beg that you allow it
To doubt a little its felicity.
I well might think these words an honest trick
To make me break off this approaching marriage;
And if I may express myself quite plainly,
I cannot trust these too enchanting words
Until the granting of some little favour
I sigh for, shall assure me of their truth
And build within my soul, on firm foundations,
A lasting faith in your sweet charity.
ELMIRE (coughing to draw her husband's attention)
What! Must you go so fast?—and all at once
Exhaust the whole love of a woman's heart?
She does herself the violence to make
This dear confession of her love, and you
Are not yet satisfied, and will not be
Without the granting of her utmost favours?
TARTUFFE
The less a blessing is deserved, the less
We dare to hope for it; and words alone
Can ill assuage our love's desires. A fate
Too full of happiness, seems doubtful still;
We must enjoy it ere we can believe it.
And I, who know how little I deserve
Your goodness, doubt the fortunes of my daring;
So I shall trust to nothing, madam, till
You have convinced my love by something real.
ELMIRE
Ah! How your love enacts the tyrant's role,
And throws my mind into a strange confusion!
With what fierce sway it rules a conquered heart,
And violently will have its wishes granted!
What! Is there no escape from your pursuit?
No respite even?—not a breathing space?
Nay, is it decent to be so exacting,
And so abuse by urgency the weakness
You may discover in a woman's heart?
TARTUFFE
But if my worship wins your gracious favour,
Then why refuse me some sure proof thereof?
ELMIRE
But how can I consent to what you wish,
Without offending Heaven you talk so much of?
TARTUFFE
If Heaven is all that stands now in my way,
I'll easily remove that little hindrance;
Your heart need not hold back for such a trifle.
ELMIRE
But they affright us so with Heaven's commands!
TARTUFFE
I can dispel these foolish fears, dear madam;
I know the art of pacifying scruples
Heaven forbids, 'tis true, some satisfactions;
But we find means to make things right with Heaven.
('Tis a scoundrel speaking.) [5]
[Footnote 5: Moliere's note, in the original edition.]
There is a science, madam, that instructs us
How to enlarge the limits of our conscience
According to our various occasions,
And rectify the evil of the deed
According to our purity of motive.
I'll duly teach you all these secrets, madam;
You only need to let yourself be guided.
Content my wishes, have no fear at all;
I answer for't, and take the sin upon me.
(Elmire coughs still louder.)
Your cough is very bad.
ELMIRE
Yes, I'm in torture.
TARTUFFE
Would you accept this bit of licorice?
ELMIRE
The case is obstinate, I find; and all
The licorice in the world will do no good.
TARTUFFE
'Tis very trying.
ELMIRE
More than words can say.
TARTUFFE
In any case, your scruple's easily
Removed. With me you're sure of secrecy,
And there's no harm unless a thing is known.
The public scandal is what brings offence,
And secret sinning is not sin at all.
ELMIRE (after coughing again)
So then, I see I must resolve to yield;
I must consent to grant you everything,
And cannot hope to give full satisfaction
Or win full confidence, at lesser cost.
No doubt 'tis very hard to come to this;
'Tis quite against my will I go so far;
But since I must be forced to it, since nothing
That can be said suffices for belief,
Since more convincing proof is still demanded,
I must make up my mind to humour people.
If my consent give reason for offence,
So much the worse for him who forced me to it;
The fault can surely not be counted mine.
TARTUFFE
It need not, madam; and the thing itself …
ELMIRE
Open the door, I pray you, and just see
Whether my husband's not there, in the hall.
TARTUFFE
Why take such care for him? Between ourselves,
He is a man to lead round by the nose.
He's capable of glorying in our meetings;
I've fooled him so, he'd see all, and deny it.
ELMIRE
No matter; go, I beg you, look about,
And carefully examine every corner.
SCENE VI
ORGON, ELMIRE
ORGON (crawling out from under the table)
That is, I own, a man … abominable!
I can't get over it; the whole thing floors me.
ELMIRE
What? You come out so soon? You cannot mean it!
Get back under the table; 'tis not time yet;
Wait till the end, to see, and make quite certain,
And don't believe a thing on mere conjecture.
ORGON
Nothing more wicked e'er came out of Hell.
ELMIRE
Dear me! Don't go and credit things too lightly.
No, let yourself be thoroughly convinced;
Don't yield too soon, for fear you'll be mistaken.
(As Tartuffe enters, she makes her husband stand behind her.)
SCENE VII
TARTUFFE, ELMIRE, ORGON
TARTUFFE (not seeing Orgon)
All things conspire toward my satisfaction,
Madam, I've searched the whole apartment through.
There's no one here; and now my ravished soul …
ORGON (stopping him)
Softly! You are too eager in your amours;
You needn't be so passionate. Ah ha!
My holy man! You want to put it on me!
How is your soul abandoned to temptation!
Marry my daughter, eh?—and want my wife, too?
I doubted long enough if this was earnest,
Expecting all the time the tone would change;
But now the proof's been carried far enough;
I'm satisfied, and ask no more, for my part.
ELMIRE (to Tartuffe)
'Twas quite against my character to play
This part; but I was forced to treat you so.
TARTUFFE
What? You believe … ?
ORGON
Come, now, no protestations.
Get out from here, and make no fuss about it.
TARTUFFE
But my intent …
ORGON
That talk is out of season.
You leave my house this instant.
TARTUFFE
You're the one
To leave it, you who play the master here!
This house belongs to me, I'll have you know,
And show you plainly it's no use to turn
To these low tricks, to pick a quarrel with me,
And that you can't insult me at your pleasure,
For I have wherewith to confound your lies,
Avenge offended Heaven, and compel
Those to repent who talk to me of leaving.
SCENE VIII
ELMIRE, ORGON
ELMIRE
What sort of speech is this? What can it mean?
ORGON
My faith, I'm dazed. This is no laughing matter.
ELMIRE
What?
ORGON
From his words I see my great mistake;
The deed of gift is one thing troubles me.
ELMIRE
The deed of gift …
ORGON
Yes, that is past recall.
But I've another thing to make me anxious.
ELMIRE
What's that?
ORGON
You shall know all. Let's see at once
Whether a certain box is still upstairs.
ACT V
SCENE I
ORGON, CLEANTE
CLEANTE
Whither away so fast?
ORGON
How should I know?
CLEANTE
Methinks we should begin by taking counsel
To see what can be done to meet the case.
ORGON
I'm all worked up about that wretched box.
More than all else it drives me to despair.
CLEANTE
That box must hide some mighty mystery?
ORGON
Argas, my friend who is in trouble, brought it
Himself, most secretly, and left it with me.
He chose me, in his exile, for this trust;
And on these documents, from what he said,
I judge his life and property depend.
CLEANTE
How could you trust them to another's hands?
ORGON
By reason of a conscientious scruple.
I went straight to my traitor, to confide
In him; his sophistry made me believe
That I must give the box to him to keep,
So that, in case of search, I might deny
My having it at all, and still, by favour
Of this evasion, keep my conscience clear
Even in taking oath against the truth.
CLEANTE
Your case is bad, so far as I can see;
This deed of gift, this trusting of the secret
To him, were both—to state my frank opinion—
Steps that you took too lightly; he can lead you
To any length, with these for hostages;
And since he holds you at such disadvantage,
You'd be still more imprudent, to provoke him;
So you must go some gentler way about.
ORGON
What! Can a soul so base, a heart so false,
Hide neath the semblance of such touching fervour?
I took him in, a vagabond, a beggar! …
'Tis too much! No more pious folk for me!
I shall abhor them utterly forever,
And henceforth treat them worse than any devil.
CLEANTE
So! There you go again, quite off the handle!
In nothing do you keep an even temper.
You never know what reason is, but always
Jump first to one extreme, and then the other.
You see your error, and you recognise
That you've been cozened by a feigned zeal;
But to make up for't, in the name of reason,
Why should you plunge into a worse mistake,
And find no difference in character
Between a worthless scamp, and all good people?
What! Just because a rascal boldly duped you
With pompous show of false austerity,
Must you needs have it everybody's like him,
And no one's truly pious nowadays?
Leave such conclusions to mere infidels;
Distinguish virtue from its counterfeit,
Don't give esteem too quickly, at a venture,
But try to keep, in this, the golden mean.
If you can help it, don't uphold imposture;
But do not rail at true devoutness, either;
And if you must fall into one extreme,
Then rather err again the other way.
SCENE II
DAMIS, ORGON, CLEANTE
DAMIS
What! father, can the scoundrel threaten you,
Forget the many benefits received,
And in his base abominable pride
Make of your very favours arms against you?
ORGON
Too true, my son. It tortures me to think on't.
DAMIS
Let me alone, I'll chop his ears off for him.
We must deal roundly with his insolence;
'Tis I must free you from him at a blow;
'Tis I, to set things right, must strike him down.
CLEANTE
Spoke like a true young man. Now just calm down,
And moderate your towering tantrums, will you?
We live in such an age, with such a king,
That violence can not advance our cause.
SCENE III
MADAME PERNELLE, ORGON, ELMIRE, CLEANTE, MARIANE, DAMIS, DORINE
MADAME PERNELLE
What's this? I hear of fearful mysteries!
ORGON
Strange things indeed, for my own eyes to witness;
You see how I'm requited for my kindness,
I zealously receive a wretched beggar,
I lodge him, entertain him like my brother,
Load him with benefactions every day,
Give him my daughter, give him all my fortune:
And he meanwhile, the villain, rascal, wretch,
Tries with black treason to suborn my wife,
And not content with such a foul design,
He dares to menace me with my own favours,
And would make use of those advantages
Which my too foolish kindness armed him with,
To ruin me, to take my fortune from me,
And leave me in the state I saved him from.
DORINE
Poor man!
MADAME PERNELLE
My son, I cannot possibly
Believe he could intend so black a deed.
ORGON
What?
MADAME PERNELLE
Worthy men are still the sport of envy.
ORGON
Mother, what do you mean by such a speech?
MADAME PERNELLE
There are strange goings-on about your house,
And everybody knows your people hate him.
ORGON
What's that to do with what I tell you now?
MADAME PERNELLE
I always said, my son, when you were little:
That virtue here below is hated ever;
The envious may die, but envy never.
ORGON
What's that fine speech to do with present facts?
MADAME PERNELLE
Be sure, they've forged a hundred silly lies …
ORGON
I've told you once, I saw it all myself.
MADAME PERNELLE
For slanderers abound in calumnies …
ORGON
Mother, you'd make me damn my soul. I tell you
I saw with my own eyes his shamelessness.
MADAME PERNELLE
Their tongues for spitting venom never lack,
There's nothing here below they'll not attack.
ORGON
Your speech has not a single grain of sense.
I saw it, harkee, saw it, with these eyes
I saw—d'ye know what saw means?—must I say it
A hundred times, and din it in your ears?
MADAME PERNELLE
My dear, appearances are oft deceiving,
And seeing shouldn't always be believing.
ORGON
I'll go mad.
MADAME PERNELLE
False suspicions may delude,
And good to evil oft is misconstrued.
ORGON
Must I construe as Christian charity
The wish to kiss my wife!
MADAME PERNELLE
You must, at least,
Have just foundation for accusing people,
And wait until you see a thing for sure.
ORGON
The devil! How could I see any surer?
Should I have waited till, before my eyes,
He … No, you'll make me say things quite improper.
MADAME PERNELLE
In short, 'tis known too pure a zeal inflames him;
And so, I cannot possibly conceive
That he should try to do what's charged against him.
ORGON
If you were not my mother, I should say
Such things! … I know not what, I'm so enraged!
DORINE (to Orgon)
Fortune has paid you fair, to be so doubted;
You flouted our report, now yours is flouted.
CLEANTE
We're wasting time here in the merest trifling,
Which we should rather use in taking measures
To guard ourselves against the scoundrel's threats.
DAMIS
You think his impudence could go far?
ELMIRE
For one, I can't believe it possible;
Why, his ingratitude would be too patent.
CLEANTE
Don't trust to that; he'll find abundant warrant
To give good colour to his acts against you;
And for less cause than this, a strong cabal
Can make one's life a labyrinth of troubles.
I tell you once again: armed as he is
You never should have pushed him quite so far.
ORGON
True; yet what could I do? The rascal's pride
Made me lose all control of my resentment.
CLEANTE
I wish with all my heart that some pretence
Of peace could be patched up between you two
ELMIRE
If I had known what weapons he was armed with,
I never should have raised such an alarm,
And my …
ORGON (to Dorine, seeing Mr. Loyal come in)
Who's coming now? Go quick, find out.
I'm in a fine state to receive a visit!
SCENE IV
ORGON, MADAME PERNELLE, ELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, DAMIS, DORINE, MR. LOYAL
MR. LOYAL (to Dorine, at the back of the stage)
Good day, good sister. Pray you, let me see
The master of the house.
DORINE
He's occupied;
I think he can see nobody at present.
MR. LOYAL
I'm not by way of being unwelcome here.
My coming can, I think, nowise displease him;
My errand will be found to his advantage.
DORINE
Your name, then?
MR. LOYAL
Tell him simply that his friend
Mr. Tartuffe has sent me, for his goods …
DORINE (to Orgon)
It is a man who comes, with civil manners,
Sent by Tartuffe, he says, upon an errand
That you'll be pleased with.
CLEANTE (to Orgon)
Surely you must see him,
And find out who he is, and what he wants.
ORGON (to Cleante)
Perhaps he's come to make it up between us:
How shall I treat him?
CLEANTE
You must not get angry;
And if he talks of reconciliation
Accept it.
MR. LOYAL (to Orgon)
Sir, good-day. And Heaven send
Harm to your enemies, favour to you.
ORGON (aside to Cleante)
This mild beginning suits with my conjectures
And promises some compromise already.
MR. LOYAL
All of your house has long been dear to me;
I had the honour, sir, to serve your father.
ORGON
Sir, I am much ashamed, and ask your pardon
For not recalling now your face or name.
MR. LOYAL
My name is Loyal. I'm from Normandy.
My office is court-bailiff, in despite
Of envy; and for forty years, thank Heaven,
It's been my fortune to perform that office
With honour. So I've come, sir, by your leave
To render service of a certain writ …
ORGON
What, you are here to …
MR. LOYAL
Pray, sir, don't be angry.
'Tis nothing, sir, but just a little summons:—
Order to vacate, you and yours, this house,
Move out your furniture, make room for others,
And that without delay or putting off,
As needs must be …
ORGON
I? Leave this house?
MR. LOYAL
Yes, please, sir
The house is now, as you well know, of course,
Mr. Tartuffe's. And he, beyond dispute,
Of all your goods is henceforth lord and master
By virtue of a contract here attached,
Drawn in due form, and unassailable.
DAMIS (to Mr. Loyal)
Your insolence is monstrous, and astounding!
MR. LOYAL (to Damis)
I have no business, sir, that touches you;
(Pointing to Orgon)
This is the gentleman. He's fair and courteous,
And knows too well a gentleman's behaviour
To wish in any wise to question justice.
ORGON
But …
MR. LOYAL
Sir, I know you would not for a million
Wish to rebel; like a good citizen
You'll let me put in force the court's decree.
DAMIS
Your long black gown may well, before you know it,
Mister Court-bailiff, get a thorough beating.
MR. LOYAL (to Orgon)
Sir, make your son be silent or withdraw.
I should be loath to have to set things down,
And see your names inscribed in my report.
DORINE (aside)
This Mr. Loyal's looks are most disloyal.
MR. LOYAL
I have much feeling for respectable
And honest folk like you, sir, and consented
To serve these papers, only to oblige you,
And thus prevent the choice of any other
Who, less possessed of zeal for you than I am
Might order matters in less gentle fashion.
ORGON
And how could one do worse than order people
Out of their house?
MR. LOYAL
Why, we allow you time;
And even will suspend until to-morrow
The execution of the order, sir.
I'll merely, without scandal, quietly,
Come here and spend the night, with half a score
Of officers; and just for form's sake, please,
You'll bring your keys to me, before retiring.
I will take care not to disturb your rest,
And see there's no unseemly conduct here.
But by to-morrow, and at early morning,
You must make haste to move your least belongings;
My men will help you—I have chosen strong ones
To serve you, sir, in clearing out the house.
No one could act more generously, I fancy,
And, since I'm treating you with great indulgence,
I beg you'll do as well by me, and see
I'm not disturbed in my discharge of duty.