NYC-City of Dreams: Chasing Wild Imaginations with Shattered Dreams and Finding Hope Through CUNY

Anjanet Thomas interviews three generations in her family, her grandmother, mother, and daughter, and tells the story of their educational journeys.

Me, Mommy, Grandma, Liv, 2016. © Thmoas Family Photo.

Three years ago, in May 2021, I came on a flight from North Carolina and landed at JFK. I was visiting my newly terminally ill father. His cancer diagnosis was only three days old, and it was already metastatic. I was trying to digest the troubling news and keep a newly one year old, breastfed, child quiet on the plane. Simultaneously I worried about my fouryear-old and eleven-year-old who were staying at my mom’s house for the three-day trip. I was also mulling over a distressing incident with my husband and partner of over 15 years at the time. There was a gun, threats, and scared children, police involvement, and now child protective services were involved, and now my dad was dying. I felt overwhelmed and numb at the same time.

While we were at the hotel, ACS, what CPS is called in NY, reached out to me, and sent a worker out to see my baby. The worker was young and kind, but matter of fact- and laid it out to me in plain English. Go back to NC and immediately lose my kids because of this now deadly escalation of what was already a well-documented and violent case of domestic abuse or go into a shelter in NYC. I wrestled with the thought of running away from my life, and my friends in NC, while on the phone with my mom. There was also the problem of how I would get my other two children to New York. However, I knew it was better to be alive and safe than to be close to friends. I was scared about what our future would entail, but I knew staying in New York was in our best interest. I told my mother “Thisis it. I cannot go back anymore” She simply said “Ok Anjanet. I hear you. We will be there tomorrow,” and they were.

Thereafter, my three children and I spent 10 months in two domestic shelters total, and things just started falling into line. The week I came to NYC, the section 8 list opened after ten years of being closed, I applied and got a place on the lottery. Then a few months later I came up for a brand new three-bedroom apartment that was equipped for people with a mobility disorder, as I have muscular dystrophy. I also started focusing on my health as I was 335 lbs. I received weight loss surgery which precipitated my weight loss journey that allowed me to lose150 pounds.

As I started losing weight and feeling better, my yearning to be an RN, and eventually a nurse midwife burned inside of me, brighter and brighter. Right before my world temporarily fell apart, I was already in the process of taking my pre-requisites for nursing school in North Carolina. So, I decided to apply to Hostos Community College to make this dream a reality. I was accepted and I am currently entering my third semester at Hostoswith a 3.831 GPA. I am due to graduate with a liberal Arts AA degree in spring 2025, and plan to transfer to a four-year college to pursue my BSN.

Pursuing a higher education has opened so many doors. I have met some lifelong friends, as well as being able to secure employment in two departments at Hostos. My education has broadened my horizons, and I have enjoyed learning new things. I took on this project to show how education can change your life in ways you never thought possible, and this change can cause positive ripples that affect future generations. Both my mother and grandmother were non-traditional students who graduated from CUNY colleges. My mother became a nurse, and my grandmother was a teacher. Today, as I anticipate my own graduation, I am grateful for their influence on my life. I hope that my three children will be influenced by my story as well. I am immensely proud that this project will live online, for generations to come. Welcome to my page, come and stay a while.

Mommy, Grandma. Liv, and Me 2024. © Thmoas Family Photo.

WILD IMAGINATIONS

I once dreamt of lions.

Of chanting, of dancing,

of singing and laughing,

wild and free.

I once dreamt of fields and farms.

Of cattle, sheep,

And...

brooks, bubbling like soda pop, flowing over great rocks

and small pebbles, smooth yet sharp enough.

I once dreamt of a life that was as fun as the storybooks.

Of moms that baked, and dads that taught you to change tires.

I clung to these wild imaginations years later,

In a closet,

Scared.

Listening to the ravings of a man who was supposed to love meTo honor me,

To cherish me during both sickness and health.

I now dream of children,

my eyes in their faceswide with wonder and fascination.

Of who they are,

of who they will be.

And....

I imagine them playing and laughing,

riding on lions, feeding giraffes.

Singing and dancing, wild and free.

Growing up,

Graduating,

Birthing babies

And...

Having their wildest imaginations come to be.

FINAL REFLECTIONS

I come from a close family, with a deep matriarchal line. My grandmother was hermother’s first child, and from there the pattern continued. My daughter is now the fourth generation of first-born daughters. I noticed that while all our paths have been different, we want the same things for our progeny: happiness and success. I like that we are becoming bolder. I was sad to find out that my grandmother forfeited to present the valedictorian speech at her graduation because the professors were worried about her age. That is a piece of the story that I did not know until the interview. My grandmother is a kind and selfless woman.

It speaks to her nature that she would choose to empower the next generation by letting a younger peer speak to the graduating class. I wish that she would have asserted herself, as she earned valedictorian with every late night, and missed dinner due to studying. I also have memories of my mother staying up doing homework. I found it interesting that my grandmother did not let the circumstances of her time alter the values she chose to impart in her children and grandchildren. This investment was also inherited by my mother as she went to further her education and become a nurse.

I am proud of my mother and what she has endured. I was angry to hear that a woman who was supposed to be my mother’s peer dismissed all her hard work and referred to her as “girl.” My mother handled herself with grace and class- but I wish that she did not have to. While listening to my mother tell this story I was reminded of sociologist W. E. B. DuBois theory of “double consciousness.” Double consciousness is the feeling that you belong to different social identities, which may contradict each other. Like my mother, I walk through this world as a black American, which puts me in another social category, one that often dominates my other identities. Even as I make more money and become more formally educated, I will always be black, and everything that goes hand in hand with that. I was struck that my mother and her white counterpart were both nurses, but to her coworker my mother was only black, and thus less than herself. I would hope that if put in the same situation I could handle myself as gracefully as my mother did, but realistically I do not think that I could. This is a good thing though. I have grown into a boldness that my grandmother and mother were unable to safely express. My daughter Liv is even stronger than I am and asserts her personhood and the rights she deserves, as well as for others.

She often looks out for the marginalized and befriends the bullied, and that makes me happy. I am hopeful for my future and the future of my children. Hope is the thread that ties all our generations together. I am doing the challenging work of emotional healing, and I am breaking generational patterns that are unhealthy. I also recognize the role that education plays in being able to achieve your goals. Although education is not a panacea, or a cure all, it is definitely a steppingstone for a better future, especially for minorities.

Thank you for taking this journey with me. I hope our stories inspired you to go after your wildest dreams, and to never give up. Your hopes, aspirations, and dreams deserve to be manifested into reality. May you feel inspired to go take that next step, no matter what it may be.

SPECIAL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I would like to thank my grandmother, mother, and daughter for allowing me to tell their stories. I would also like to thank Professors Nguyen and Das for allowing me to be a part of the institute. Joshua Wayne Wiggan did the beautiful illustration. Lastly, thanks to Shaneka Crossman and Emily Ramos for their help editing my project.

MORE ABOUT ANJANET THOMAS

Anjanet Thomas is a mother of three children, and two very spoiled cats. She can often be found with her head in a book, dystopian novels being a favorite indulgent. Anjanet also enjoys video games and eating new foods from a variety of cuisines. Anjanet is a lifelong learner and is currently a student in community college, with aspirations to become a nurse midwife. Prior to this academic venture, Anjanet was a preschool teacher in North Carolina for several years. Anjanet can now be found roaming the streets of New York City and is always awaiting the next adventure.