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Thoughts on the Education of Daughters / With Reflections on Female Conduct, in the More Important Duties of Life: THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS.

Thoughts on the Education of Daughters / With Reflections on Female Conduct, in the More Important Duties of Life
THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS.
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table of contents
  1. Front Matter
    1. Preface
    2. Table of Contents
  2. The Nursery
  3. Moral Discipline
  4. Exterior Accomplishments
  5. Artificial Manners
  6. Dress
  7. The Fine Arts
  8. Reading
  9. Boarding Schools
  10. The Temper
  11. Unfortunate Situation of Females: Fashionably Educated, and Left Without a Fortune.
  12. Love
  13. Matrimony
  14. Desultory Thoughts
  15. The Benefits Which Arise from Disappointments
  16. On the Treatment of Servants.
  17. The Observance of Sunday
  18. On the Misfortune of Fluctuating Principles
  19. Benevolence
  20. Card-Playing
  21. The Theatre
  22. Public Places
  23. Back Matter
    1. The Full Project Gutenberg License

THE BENEFITS WHICH ARISE FROM DISAPPOINTMENTS.

Most women, and men too, have no character at all. Just opinions and virtuous passions appear by starts, and while we are giving way to the love and admiration which those qualities raise, they are quite different creatures. It is reflection which forms habits, and fixes principles indelibly on the heart; without it, the mind is like a wreck drifted about by every squall. The passion that we think most of will soon rival all the rest; it is then in our power, this way, to strengthen our good dispositions, and in some measure to establish a character, which will not depend on every accidental impulse. To be convinced of truths, and yet not to feel or act up to them, is a common thing. Present pleasure drives all before it, and adversity is mercifully sent to force us to think.

In the school of adversity we learn knowledge as well as virtue; yet we lament our hard fate, dwell on our disappointments, and never consider that our own wayward minds, and inconsistent hearts, require these needful correctives. Medicines are not sent to persons in health.

It is a well-known remark, that our very wishes give us not our wish. I have often thought it might be set down as a maxim, that the greatest disappointment we can meet with is the gratification of our fondest wishes. But truth is sometimes not pleasant; we turn from it, and doat on an illusion; and if we were not in a probationary state, we should do well to thicken the cloud, rather than dispel it.

There are some who delight in observing moral beauty, and their souls sicken when forced to view crimes and follies which could never hurt them. How numerous are the sorrows which reach such bosoms! They may truly be called human creatures; on every side they touch their fellow-mortals, and vibrate to the touch. Common humanity points out the important duties of our station; but sensibility (a kind of instinct, strengthened by reflection) can only teach the numberless minute things which give pain or pleasure.

A benevolent mind often suffers more than the object it commiserates, and will bear an inconvenience itself to shelter another from it. It makes allowance for failings though it longs to meet perfection, which it seems formed to adore. The Author of all good continually calls himself, a God long-suffering; and those most resemble him who practice forbearance. Love and compassion are the most delightful feelings of the soul, and to exert them to all that breathe is the wish of the benevolent heart. To struggle with ingratitude and selfishness is grating beyond expression: and the sense we have of our weakness, though useful, is not pleasant. Thus it is with us, when we look for happiness, we meet with vexations: and if, now and then, we give way to tenderness, or any of the amiable passions, and taste pleasure, the mind, strained beyond its usual tone, falls into apathy. And yet we were made to be happy! But our passions will not contribute much to our bliss, till they are under the dominion of reason, and till that reason is enlightened and improved. Then sighing will cease, and all tears will be wiped away by that Being, in whose presence there is fulness of joy.

A person of tenderness must ever have particular attachments, and ever be disappointed; yet still they must be attached, in spite of human frailty; for if the mind is not kept in motion by either hope or fear, it sinks into the dreadful state before-mentioned.

I have very often heard it made a subject of ridicule, that when a person is disappointed in this world, they turn to the next. Nothing can be more natural than the transition; and it seems to me the scheme of Providence, that our finding things unsatisfactory here, should force us to think of the better country to which we are going.

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ON THE TREATMENT OF SERVANTS.
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