Kasandra Romagno

Life Within the Glassed Hour

Mommy and Daddy confuse me. I don’t know what is really going on, but my cake is blue, and my candles sparkle like explosions. I turn one today! The cake is delicious, but Mommy takes it away before I can reach for more. I get scooped up into the sky by Daddy and he is running. I giggle since we go so fast. It is so fun but the bright lights in the skinny halls begin to flicker. I cry, a loud noise hurting my ears. I hear Mommy say “shh”, but I cry since her voice so low. Too low to hear over the loud ringing noise. My eyes close as I sniff, I am no longer with Daddy. I sit now someplace dark, and I stop crying. The carpet is soft. It is quiet and I feel sleepy. I reach up to Mommy’s sweater and pull. It falls on me and it reminds me of my blankie. I fall asleep with my thumb in my mouth. I don’t know when Daddy and Mommy came back but I am safe on a train. “Swoosh” my Mommy makes the sound it makes. We go so fast, and I clap, but we leave so soon. We leave the train, and the sky is dirty and smelly. I rub my eyes as dirt falls on my face. Mommy huffs and covers my head; it is too dark and smelly and hot. I want it off.

“Please, Veronica. Darling, I beg.” Mommy sounds scared. I just want it to stop. I close my eyes and listen. Mommy and Daddy are running. There are angry noises and a nasty metal smell. The noises stop and I want it off. I pull Mommy’s scarf off my face, and I see trucks far ahead! Like my toys from home, they are big and green with the same tree stickers on them. I see Daddy kiss Mommy and giggle when he kisses my head. But he goes away. A big funny looking man rolls out of a truck and hugs Daddy. I don’t like this man; I just want my Daddy.

“We have to get going, my love.” I hear Mommy in her hush-hush voice say before I get put into Daddy’s sweater.

“Now, I’m going to need you to be very quiet.” Mommy moves so fast and gently and I fall asleep. I wake up and it is nighttime, I cannot see, and it is too dark. Leaves tickle my nose and I giggle, my Mommy chuckling, too. A loud ringing noise goes off and I freeze. I am too scared to cry. Mommy hops down from our tree and goes to the annoying sound. I sniffle but stop when Mommy picks up the phone.

“They gave you access already? Okay, we’ll be right over.” Mommy moves quick but she is scared.

My new home is pretty. The floor is cool on my feet and the water is yummy here. It was too hot outside, and I like new home much better. I smell flowers while I play in my bath as Mommy and Daddy talk.

“There’s no way we could’ve been seen entering this place, right?”

“I’m certain of it, Jocelyn. I searched the entire camera system myself.” Daddy rubs Mommy’s face. “There isn’t any surveillance in or around the house, but the gun is ready if we need it.”

Mommy sighs and moves away, tickling my underarms and I giggle. My Mommy laughs but Daddy doesn’t. Is he angry?

Daddy hasn’t been home. Mommy says he will be back soon, but I don’t think so.

Daddy, I turned 2 today. Mommy says you do amazing things.

Daddy, I am 3 now. Mommy says I can finally play outside. I want to see you, too. I hope so.

My birthday wishes come true. My Daddy is home, and he brings me a new blue cake! I do not want to share, and I bite into it, my fists pulling from it big chunks. Both Mommy and Daddy laugh, and I eat more.

“So, you’re here to tell me you accepted the full-time offer?” Mommy whispers. I put my finger in my ear, trying to get some of the icing out since I can’t hear. But I have cake on my hands, making things worse.

“I know you don’t have faith in my work but this company…it is providing you with clean water and a roof over our child’s head.” Daddy steals some of my cake and I shout ‘No!’ angrily.

“And a lovely roof, might I add.”

“No roof can wipe away the horrors I have seen.” I don’t like when Mommy and Daddy don’t laugh. It makes me scared.

Today was the best birthday ever. Mommy and Daddy sang to me. He made me a soft puppet, its’ uniform matching Daddy’s. I love my new toy and he sings when my Daddy is around. He says he has to leave again.

But not before he and Mommy tells me about the other kids. I can finally go outside and play!

“In the morning Jane with be here to take you to the others.” I do not really pay attention, but it feels like tomorrow will we fun.

No, Daddy will be gone again. At least I have tiny Daddy and that makes me happy. Mommy sleeps next to me like she does every night, but the cake keeps me awake. I slip off the bed and wobble on my feet. I grab Mommy’s soft slipper and hold it, walking into the hallway. The floor is nice and cool on my feet, and the tiles are so clear and blue. This place is not like my old home. Old home was creaky and small and dusty. But I want my Daddy here. He has big feet. I see Daddy’s office. I remember him saying, “No! Veronica do not!”. But Daddy left after my cake. I go in and it is so pretty inside. Lights and glass and pictures and Daddy’s scribbles. The curvy glass on his big desk is so shiny. The sand inside is colorful and buzzes. It glows and darkens and sings. I toddle to it and touch it, flipping it. A bright light makes me close my eyes, my hands moving to my face.

“AHHH!” I see nothing but then I see my Mommy and Daddy, and people I have never seen. And bad people, and very very scary people. I see myself. No, someone who looks like me but older. I see lessons I’ve never taken, and friends I’ve never made. I see my home and I see everyone else. No homes, no water, and no happiness. I hear things I could never forget but I am feeling life differently. My thoughts feel more vibrant but heavy. Words I never knew that described my experiences begin to bloom into my mind.

My eyes open wildly, my vision coming in like crackling rocks.

“We thank you all for joining us today,” What is going on? The Earth seems to rumble below my feet, the crowd around me quiet aside from a few startled gasps. Where is my Mom? Wait. Is that Dad?

“Although we certainly wish it were under different circumstances.” The man Dad hugged! He was speaking on a decrepit stage, the entire auditorium at risk of collapsing at any moment. Dad stands beside the nervous looking man, but he doesn’t say anything. I have never seen him so old, so beaten and swollen.

“Dad!” I attempt to call out, but I’m frightened by the noise. My voice. It is unfamiliar to me and as I look down, the uniform was around a body I can’t comprehend as my own. I feel a deep-seated desire to expel the cake I vividly remember eating just this afternoon. I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of shouts that bombarded my ears, my hands coming up to protect them.

“We hear your concerns! It is time to open the capsule.” The man’s voice carries over the entire room. Only the devastating noise of bits of the building crumbling punctuated the end of the blundering man’s words.

And there it was. The very contraption that got me into this nightmare of a place. My brain could only signal to me, “Your Only Way Out! Your Only Way Out!”. As someone who hasn’t had the time to learn to control these impulses, I am already barreling towards the stage. The crowd sounds offended as I shove my way through, and I hear more shouts of protest the closer I get.

“Veronica?” I hear my Dad more than my eyes are allowing me to see him. His voice is low at first.

“VERONICA, NO!” I can only see the hourglass in front of me, foreign reflexes allowing me to dodge the people who share my Dad’s uniform. It is terrifying how I feel in complete control of my body but so unfamiliar in my overgrown limbs. Not even the splintering wood of the stage can stop me as I flip over the hourglass, this foreign world slipping from under me in an instant.

I feel like I’m going to be sick, but I keep my eyes open this time. I see the opposite ends of the hourglass pulse with two different colors, the surging sand going airborne within the glass. Whatever was giving this thing power had to be in the materials used for the bases. Maybe the sand? I don’t know but I lose the chance to inspect further, the brightness becoming unbearable. I feel formless and weak as my body collapses in on itself, memories I feel I’ve experienced go in reverse. I see the moment total mayhem gets unleashed once the ozone layer gets fully destroyed and in that same breath, I see it mend itself. All of it gets reversed as though nothing happened, but I feel the aches of months of training. I see a dark-skinned man and feel my body double over in pain at the sight of his death. My own pale hands where drenched in his blood and in another moment, it seeps from my hands and back into his wounds. I don’t know him but the familiarity I feel in my bones for him cannot be ignored. From here everything seems to fade faster, his body a blur as he’s taken away from me. I see stretching blocks of buildings that match the new home I remember as a kid, the same tree decals lining the walls. Billboards for expensive gadgets and newly improved baby formula are built up and taken down, built up and taken down. A huge wall seems to always surround me, keeping the buildings in. The farther back I go, the smaller the number of buildings there are gets. But it seems that the wall has been up for quite some time.

So, I stayed here forever?

The idea strikes my very core. Somehow, I know that that shouldn’t be right, the sun continuously rising and setting beyond the wall. A group meets with me in my frozen state and their movements all go in reverse, their laughs and play fighting and actions all seem so far removed from me. And I see that man again, my chest tightening and pain seeping back into me at the memory of his death. I see how close we had been but my travels through time barley gives me a fraction of a second to register what it is I am experiencing through this life. But I do get the chance to see armed guards that share my father’s uniform line the streets. And with this I see a building that must be my own, my mother dead on the pavement just outside of it. She is lifted onto her knees by her hair by one of the guards, the barrel of a gun placed to her temple. She rises to her feet and is guided roughly back into our home. The rest is concealed from me behind the door. And Dad had not been there, surprising.

I try to move from where I was stuck in the middle of the plaza, but the currents of time push my limbs back into place by my side and I am stuck as a silent observer.

I understand what I must do.

The very second, I feel the familiar weight of my compounded frame, I jump in my skin. The sensation of buzzing remains in my jaw, and I throw up on Daddy’s office floor. Everything is so large and spins around me. I barley hear it when Mommy calls out to me from the doorway. Before my vision goes dark, I weakly reach out for the hourglass but pass out before I touch it. What was my plan when I finally had it? I have no idea. Everything I had seen corrupts my dreams and I know that I cannot stay this small if I want everyone I love to survive.

I must get that hourglass.

I wake up in a cold sweat, my Mom’s concerned face big and beautiful above me. My tears and hysterical sobs burst from me. She scoops me up and softly shushes me, the rocking doing little to steady my overfiring mind. My pudgy fingers tightly grip her shirt and I wipe my tears onto her shoulder. I can only see her dead behind my eyelids, her heartbeat feeling unreal against me.

“I am so sorry, baby. You’ve already been through so much.”

Mom, you have no idea.

I try again and again to form the words in my mind with my untrained tongue. I need to speak, to tell her everything. I do not even attempt to write, my grip worthless and weak in this body. Nothing will be possible until I am a little older. Later in the day she sets me down in the living room to play while she goes to cook. I do not even think as I crawl as fast as I can to Dad’s office. The moment I get there the hourglass seems to recognize me, the colors of it coming to life with a familiar hum. I take a good look at it while I can, the two plates glowing the closer I get to it. I try to read the paper just underneath it. I can distinguish the word ‘hour’, but the other words are lost to me completely. This was my only chance, and I was going to take it. I quickly flip the hourglass over, hoping that by doing it faster I will be less likely to feel its gut turning effects. Sadly, my hypothesis was wrong. It still felt awful. But the speed did do something I didn’t consider.

I had only skipped ahead eleven years instead of the fifteen years I traveled before. So, duration does have something to do with the amount of time I travel. It takes a moment for me to register where I am, but I find I am exactly where I was before. Dad’s office was mostly cleaned out, but the hourglass was hidden in a familiar capsule, relief flooding when I realize it is cracked open safes. Swiping a torn piece of rag from the ground I shakily swipe the object and shove it into my hoodie’s pocket, barreling out of the office as quick as I can. The air smells familiar, the gun powder and loud noises outside drawing me towards the front entrance. I see my mother struggling with a much larger man, his uniform bringing bile to my throat. Mom mouths ‘Run!’ but I am done cowering. Something in me strengthens and I move quickly, dislodging the hold the man has on my mother. He tries to swing at me, but I duck, stealing his gun and without a moment’s thought I shoot him. I drop the gun and back away, fear shooting through me at the sight of pooling red blood at my feet.

“Sweetheart!” My mother begins to sob, bringing me into her arms. It was too much. I gently push her aside and pick up the gun. She looks at me as though she does not recognize me, but I do not have time to be sensitive to her feelings.

“Mom, please. Stay in here.” I am armed as I leave our front door, the uniformed men marching along the plaza and pulling others out of their homes. From across the street, I see my Dad get pummeled into a weaponed truck. From the state of the sky, I believe we only have two years before things get really bad. I have managed to save my mother, but I recognize that there is someone else I need to save. I hesitate before pulling out the hourglass. I duck behind soot covered bushes and flip it as quickly as I can. Traveling has somehow become second nature for my body, my limbs feeling like my own the moment I arrive on the other side of time.

“Veronica! Wake up!” I am shaken awake by firm hands, my vision filtering in like I had just been hit with a bomb. And maybe I had been.

“What is that?” I hadn’t even noticed the hourglass was still in my hand. I freeze, keeping it as steady as I can so I do not accidentally jump through time.

“Never mind that. We need to move.” This man’s voice is deep but both foreign and familiar to me.

“Devon.” I croak out as I’m dragged to me feet. I recognize quickly that he is the man I need to save, and I seem to regain strength from this realization. Shoving the hourglass away into a pouch strapped around me I scramble for a gun. When I cannot find one, a pistol is pressed into my palm. He was always so observant.

“We need to get to my father’s office.”

“What? No way. Your home is surrounded. That’s a death wish.” Devon cuts off my path and guides me to duck behind a flipped van. I see a group of survivors coming our way and aim my gun. My gun is thwarted away, Devon’s eyes wide with confusion.

“What are you doing? They’re here for us. Your head alright?” Us?

“This is no time for apocalyptic kisses, we need to continue the evacuation.” A girl named Cindy shouts out to us over the rain of bullets. Cindy, oh I remember you. And Bismuth, and Earl, and Chastity. It was so nice to meet them all.

“I have to do something.” I grab onto Devon and book it in the direction of my home. He covers me so I guide us through a path we would not get caught taking. I open the back window to my home and ask Devon to get in. He is indecisive at first but appears to trust me, swinging his legs first through the open window.

Dad’s office. Dad’s office. It must be still standing. I see the door, half off its’ hinges and ask Devon to help move away parts of the collapsed wall so I can enter.

It was in ruins.

But that is not what counts right now. I rip through burnt paper after paper on his desk, red clouding my vision as blood begins to leak from my nose. So, traveling through time does have its downsides. Who would have guessed? I manage to find what I am looking for and Devon keeps watch. I wish I would have gotten to know him properly. And there it was, my father’s blueprints for the construction of the hourglass. Even the capsule that is meant to hold it had its own instructional sheet. Apparently, humanity’s last hope was in my possession. The paper explains how materials from both the North and South poles are contained within the hourglass. The anomaly’s effects are unknown, but his hypothesis is that time can be traversed, providing us more time to fix the issues we’ve created. I thought that once I saw this information, I would know what to do. I’ve seen pieces of my life I haven’t entirely lived through, yet I am still as clueless as the three-year-old girl I started out as.

“Veronica, are you okay? We need to get out of here.” I ignore him. This isn’t enough, I don’t have enough time here. My hands shake as I pull out the hourglass and scream, smashing it into the desk. In a burst of light, I feel as though my organs are being pulled outside of my body.

The moment I wake up, I see everything is different. The wooden lodge structure I was in was not one I was familiar with.

This, is a new timeline. And these are not my hands.

Essay 2

For this essay I took major influences from Octavia Butler’s novel Parable of the Sower. An interesting aspect of her story is her inclusion of children from a very young age and the mindsets they display. Rarely do the children in this novel get to experience a “normal” childhood and their age is seen as limiting when they are below the age that allows them to participate in “grown-up” activities such as shooting practice or community surveillance. Waiting to grow older is seen as a barrier for everything Lauren wants to accomplish. She is not listened to because of her age, and this leads her to prepare in secret for life outside of the walls of her community. I wanted to take this aspect of Butler’s novel and magnify it through the concept of time travel. No longer will the protagonist have to wait until they are older since a device is used to reach the point where she can make changes. But the effects for rapid aging will not leave her unscathed, her maturity levels given no time to adjust. By doing this my protagonist Veronica priorities others and relinquishes control of her life for the greater good of the world. As a child would, she acts on instincts as she is faced with life and death situations. She is aware that by skipping through time she is missing out on her life but the main goal of preventing the end of the world and saving her loved ones far surpasses her involvement with day-to-day activities. Using first person as my mode of writing also allows me to write and imagine from the mind of a child who is thrown through time. Butler in her novel uses this method highly effectively, allowing us as readers to understand Lauren’s responses and perceptions.

Stephanie Guerra and Laurel Tarulli have given me great insight into a possible future ran by megacorporations and the type of characters that typically persist in the science fiction genre. Taking the ideas of an exploited population (the use of Veronica’s father’s scientific mind),

privatization (walled community, corporate military use on civilians), and late capitalistic slavery (forced labor under corporate/government control), I frame my story in a system that could easily occur. Without many options, the population within the walls of my story act against their own interests and are forced to submit to the company they signed their lives away to for safety and resources. Corporate gain is prioritized in this story and connects with government action. With Guerra’s idea that science fiction grows with our own science and technology I created the idea of a “scapegoat” in the form of an hourglass that reverses time. This advanced technology will be the only thing to reverse the effects humans have had on the planet.

Works Cited

Butler, Octavia E. Parable of the Sower. New York: Warner Books, 1995.

Guerra, Stephanie. “Colonizing Bodies: Corporate Power and Biotechnology in Young Adult Science Fiction.” Children’s Literature in Education, vol. 40, no. 4, Springer Netherlands, 2009, pp. 275–95, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10583-009-9086-z.

Tarulli, Laurel, et al. “Past Is Prologue: Science Fiction and Ways of Working.” Reference and User Services Quarterly, vol. 59, no. 2, American Library Association, 2019, p. 96–.