Saa, Didxa & Me

[Music, Language & Me]

I negotiate my spirituality between conversations with my ancestors.

We look up the las nubes,

touch trees and

the tierra below.

My region writes poetry and sones

Y ahora sé por qué soy así.

I find abuelo in gardenias,

Visited by hummingbirds

That koi fish in Hiroshima

Cemented in the storytelling of

“Yo recuerdo cuando tú abuelo y abuela…”

Fragments I piece together in this ethnographic journey.

My faith-based system relies on

believing in them.

When I negotiate who I am, through the conversations we are in.

I analyze and overanalyze and panic sobre

los

patrones

de

nuestra

familia.

Affecting the bodies and marriages of my tias

A push and pull for autonomy

A desire for more than life of femicide, physically and del alma.

My back hurts from an addiction to the overcoming.

I just want a reconnection.

Hoping we heal within this lifetime

Assuming there is another.

Lo intento.

Otra vez más.