Let's Embark On A Journey Through Time Travel

I cannot imagine my dad living back in the 70’s in Indonesia, a country where the majority of people were Muslims, sadly to say but his Chinese background made him experience first hand discrimination along with his younger siblings, my uncle, Robert and my aunt, Lia. Being the first child in his family also made him take serious risks when opportunities knocked his door. Particularly, when dad talks about Pontianak and his early years memories, I notice how his voice changes and his body language engages in gray nostalgia showing me his most pure human side. For instance, when he tells me about his childhood, the small wooden house they shared with other relatives, plus grandma, grandpa and three kids surrounded by a smelly henhouse and muddy pigpen. Next to the house, there was a clean water river where my dad and his cousins would swim endless hours during the humid seasons they lived there. Dad also told me, how they used to play back in the day, of course there were no computers or even TV around, so they entertained themselves flying home-made kites or playing marbles. Generally, poverty would bring more difficult times to the table along with porridge with salt or mere soy sauce for breakfast.

Eventually, all the disagreements with our relatives caused them to move to a small town north Pontianak called Segedong, and that is where my dad and his siblings spent part of their childhood. In this small town, there was a strong sense of community because small groups of indigenous people like the Dayak, Malay, and Bugis lived peacefully with Chinese families and lived in harmony without discrimination to one another.

Unfortunately, my dad had to move back to Pontianak and enroll in elementary school. And here is where he had to face more social issues, even decades after the Indonesian independence from Japan, which was supposed to unify the diversity of people living there, not segregating them even more. However, society and the government did not understand much about migration and my dad had to pay the consequences. For instance, public education was not able to accommodate all the ethnicities in their schools, but somehow my dad was able to enroll in a private institute where the acceptance for diversity was welcomed as long as they paid their tuition. It calls to my attention that even with schools promoting social unification, my dad was still discriminated against on the street because of his Chinese background. One day, he was riding his bike around town along with his brother and out of nowhere a bunch of kids came up to them, took them down, took a necklace my future uncle was wearing and threatened them just for having a different background. My dad and his brother had no other option rather than ride away from those brats and enter a crowded area to avoid the conflict escalating.

Another time, during our coffee sessions, my dad told me that when he got to Junior High, his family's economy was slightly better, they were able to eat vegetables daily and he was able to take afternoon classes because the school had construction so they told students to attend the class in the afternoon. Luckily he and his friends from school used to walk together both ways, but even then some bike riders once yelled at them “China Bangsat!” (Chinese Bastards) bringing frustration over them because they were not able to say anything back. The good thing is that the bikers drove away with their dirt bikes and disappeared on the road.

Despite all these discriminatory incidents my dad focused on school and when he finished Junior High he enrolled in the back then called, SMEA, a vocational or trade school that offered him a three-year diploma in accounting instead of studying for four long years. My dad decided it was a great opportunity to study and work at the same time. After graduation in 1992, My dad met up with his cousin, Budy, who was going to study in Jakarta, they thought it could be a great idea to travel together and hopefully find a new job there.

Once he and his cousin were in the capital of Indonesia, my dad started job hunting, coincidentally, he passed by the Institution of Information Management and Computer Science of Bina Nusantara, and the spark to study in a four-year institution ignited his desire to pursue another academic achievement, which eventually may lead him to a better earning job. He thought “I have nothing to lose anyways, what is the worst that it could happen, if I do not pass the placement test, I’ll just keep looking for a job” My dad as smart and committed as he is won a scholarship as a result of that placement test, although he still had to pay a million rupiah tuition which was about $500 back then. He kept his dream up by getting support from his parents and kept working for a salary of seventy-five thousand rupiah about $37.50 monthly. Somehow, someway his commitment and perseverance lead him to work during the day and take classes at night. Of course he was tired, homesick and when he talks about this I can totally relate because my life is not much different than his, sometimes I wanna quit and go back to the place I call home, and I am sure, even if he does not say so, he also wanted to quit but because his desire to better himself was brighter than his nostalgia. He succeeded and graduated college in 1997 with a bachelor’s degree in Information Systems and Management.

In February of 98, he decided to visit his hometown and met up with his friends from high school since he had not been able to go back to his hometown for 5 years. They started traveling from city to city with his friends. He reconnected with his long time sweetheart, my mom, he realized that this girl knew a lot of people, and was very friendly to everyone. She was the one who made the first move and my dad fell for it. Then, they started dating and always going out together whenever they had a gathering. Later In May, there were the riots of “Kerusuhan Mei 1998.” in which students protested, there were food shortages everywhere, high unemployment rates, corruption and discrimination towards Chinese people where they were robbed, assaulted, killed, and the women were raped. There was a lot of hatred towards Chinese people which led him to stay longer in his hometown, and decided to marry my mom in 2000. After 2 years of trying to have a baby, in 2002 I was born and happily in 2004 my sister.

By 2007 with a wife and two daughters, the economic struggle became evident and my aunt suggested to my dad to apply for the American visa and pursue his dreams under better economic circumstances, but harder work. So he did, and embarked once again on another journey, but this time away from his country and his young family. Certainly, coming to America was another challenge for him, but somehow my dad was able to visit the Statue of Liberty, and have some inspiration during the first week of being here, and also submit job applications through a job agency. He landed a job as a busser at a Japanese restaurant in New Jersey, soon he noticed the money makers were the servers, and he tried hard to become one of them. Despite my dad's efforts the owner decided not to promote him and remained as a busser for the following two years. Once again, life put him in a place where his mental and physical strength, commitment and efforts would be tested, not just as a new employee in an industry that he was clearly overqualified to work at, but in general life because getting new work skills, learning a new language while trying to send money to us I am sure was not an easy jiggle. Eventually, the Hibachi Chef noticed his improvement and offered him to train as a hibachi assistant, which may lead him to a hibachi chef position in the long run, although kitchen payment was lower than front of the house, he agreed to give it a try and continue his hospitality journey.

My father in New York being surrounded by people, but still felt unfamiliar, different, and longed for his home. Illustration © Estrada

This period of his life was extremely busy for him because he had to find another job at a coffee shop in order to keep his expenses afloat. Working from early in the morning until late at night, he basically did not have days off to appreciate the sunset, yet as I write this, I see a man in the making, I see a father that cared and provided for his family at the expense of his own comfort. I see a man of strong ethics, and full of commitment. Three months later he was able to master the hibachi assistant position, got a better salary and invested more time to himself. One day, while he was hanging out at a public park, enjoying a sip of milk tea, he saw a few kids jumping all over, chasing each other, screaming out loud and one of those high notes got into his deepest feelings for his daughters, reminding him of his love for them. My dad told me that he missed us, that he did not want to miss our growth so he considered going back home for a minute. This particular scene is when he realized the importance of his parenthood, love and family. He was worried about his kids knowing him in person, not as an absent father, he had another sip of milk tea and walked away thinking of his desire to be the person his children would rely on, always.

Author's Second Interview With Father.

At some point during this new promotion and better economic situation of his, he was offered a green card as long as he stayed in the company for five more years. Then again he had to evaluate the pros and cons of his life in America versus life in Indonesia. My dad came down to a final dilemma, either keep making money or grow next to his children. Finally, after almost five years of being away he returned home in 2011, my sister was seven and I was nine years old. Sad to say but, my sister did not recognize him because she was almost a toddler when he left for the US. Months later after my dad’s arrival to Indonesia, we went to live with our grandparents which made me realize how within the same family, occasionally we have shared moments but not the same memories or experiences about them.

Since we got to share more time with him, I was educated his way but also free to debunk social taboos, but always advised wisely from my dad. He would allow me to change schools, learn Mandarin and Korean language, even Karate, sports and other things that traditional parents would not allow their children to do, particularly as a female. One time I asked him “Would you want your children to be a bird that flies freely in the air or kept in a cage?” He told me “I want my children to be a bird that flies freely in the air because I want them to get a taste of what life is, everyone experiences different things, I want them to explore a lot of things that’s why I keep encouraging them to go for what they want. I did not ask them to pursue a bachelor's degree if they did not want to, but I suggested that to them.”

His way of educating us is done nicely in the sense that he creates a friendship between his children while maintaining the respect between parents and children as well. That’s the thing that I admire about him a lot, I can speak and share freely without getting scolded for what I have done. He taught me to be independent when I was 12 years old. I could go home by myself, open a bank account, even ride a motorcycle at 17 years old by myself to go to school. He taught me how to pay utilities, gas, water and even internet bills. Everything I have done by myself. I am currently living in the US, the place he was once, now it is time for me to figure out and discover every little thing about me. So, how do I grow as a good person? Like, the whole "me" thing? Sometimes I'm like, why did I have to go through all this like my dad did? Indonesia was pretty sweet! But hey, surviving in a whole new country is something you can't just learn about from stories. I was curious about what it would be like, so I challenged myself to jump in and experience this whole new world of culture, language, and all that. It's definitely been a learning experience, with new friends, new ways of thinking, the whole shebang.

my sister, my father and I am on the right, August, 2023. Illustration © Estrada

TAKEAWAY QUESTIONS FOR READERS

1. How do you feel while you’re reading the story?
2. I hope this leaves some message to you, if does, do you mind sharing it?
3. What message or thoughts that you have after reading this in general and in family relationships?

THANK YOU

Thank you for your time to read and watch this creation. I hope for everyone who faces struggles, hardships, and stress, “Be Courageous and Be Confident.” We must survive and be alive at the end of our journey, Don’t ever give up!! We got this and we have to get till the end!! Lastly, To my father as the narrator who willingly contributed, helped, and kept checking on me during the process, To Professor Das and Professor Tram who encouraged me and guidance and feedback on the artifact, To my ENG 102 professor who informed me this opportunity, To Miguel Madrid who helped and poured out his creativity to my writing, To Camila Estrada and Kevin Liu that helped me for the drawing and video, To Emily Ramos who created the platform, To all fellow students in the summer institute, and my grandparent, my sister, and friends in here and Indonesia. I am grateful to have had such a supportive group of people, I love you all, the support and love are abundantly that makes me feel so loved and confident.

ARTIST STATEMENT

I always felt my dad’s story is very inspired, sometimes I feel like this is a rare story but some people may experience a similar story like this as well. Certainly, I hope my dad's story can inspire and motivate everyone who faces struggles and feels a strong connection with. Of course, it would be a different version and condition compared to other emigrants. During the process of the project, indeed, there were a lot of challenges which I liked and enjoyed. One of those is a time difference, New York is about 13 hours behind Indonesia time. So when I woke up, he would sleep. When I sleep, he would wake up. However, everything seemed pretty fun for me, having an interview with him taught me more lessons to get from him, even though, he may say the same thing repeatedly. But it will always feel different, this time I felt I was brought to his point of view and was able to know better of his journey in life, which is also inspiring for me.

MORE ABOUT JOANE PUTRICIA

Joane Putricia is from Indonesia pursuing her bachelor's degree in the United States. She is an international student majoring in business administration at LaGuardia Community College. Eventually, Joane will be transferring to a 4-year college to get a bachelors in Data Analytics to pursue her true passion about STEM. When Joane was younger she felt insecure and considered herself an introverted person, extremely shy who did not dare to take a step toward every passion that she felt for. In recent years, she is finally able to let go her fear and encourage herself to make straightforward commitments to herself. In fact, she truly loves writing since she was in junior high school, but did not write down anything because she was afraid someone would find out her writing and disapprove. Her commitment led this summer program to her and Joane was able to explore her family story, hear the first hand details, put them down on paper, free her imagination and grow up one day at the time. She would love to hear your story, email: Joaneputricia@gmail.com.